5MONTHS PREGNANT

YEAH! im turning 5 this tuesday and time flies so fast >.< i can't believe it that im just waiting for 4months to have my 2nd child. Im a bit worried and excited at the same time. But then again, lots of trials along the way.

I have my tummy cramps and "paninigas" two consecutive days and thats alarming, kaso i cant have the REST that i need kase nga I DONT HAVE YAYA yet =( IM SO NGARAG EVERYDAY!!!! i cant complain naman... >.<

kainis nga e..nauudlot parati. But im thanking God, for being our guidance in choosing the right yaya for Ekai. Buti nalang when bad things happened to the yaya, wala pa sya sa house namin. Not being mean, pero like the RECENT YAYA na dapat sa amin, biglang nagpakasal. :)))) Hayyy. LIFE :))) 

IM ALWAYS LOOK HAGGARD!!!!!!!!!!!!

KAYA NEED SOME MAKEOVER :)))

i have a semi swollen legs!!!!!!

LET GO

Being an only child is difficult. But I've learned to earn the "world" that i wanted to have whenever im w/ my friends. When i was still in school, i really love going to classes because im surrounded by people. It was much better with older friends, since they're more matured.Then i got bored and explored outside the campus.


I've been through with lots of "rebellious deeds" or whatever people may call it but for me its LOOKING FOR MY IDENTITY.LOOKING FOR MY TRUESELF. Dealing with people is like teaching your self to accept CHANGES and that makes you a better person.


NOSTALGIC.
I remember those days i have bunch of friends to talk with. Whenever you go online or in text they are all active. Whenever YOU feel lonely, they were all there for you. DRINK AND SMOKE.

But as the time goes by, you'll notice of number of GOODBYES AND HEARTACHES. People dont like you or some of your friends left you and join to another group. Ofcourse, i feel bad because THEY ARE MY WORLD and now its falling apart.

This year im turning 23, and that BREAKS my heart. Im getting older but seems like im now counting fingers with friends who are real and stick with me no matter what.

When i went back to reconcile with THOSE people, theyre all gone. Having those allibis and excuses. But im still waiting for someone to reply on my msgs. JUST GIVE ME CLOSURE.

NOW.
you just have to convince yourself that your older enough to understand that situation. That no one will be permanent in your life. That i must be thankful that i have now my own family and in return losing friends. I dont know the real score why they left. All i know is IVE BEEN A BAD FRIEND. Not to turn myself down but to ACCEPT THE FACT that its REALITY. Maybe im not a good keeper.

Some are now in there stable life right now and im proud of them.

I just have to stick to what  i have right now and to be contented.

SIGHS

HOLY THURSDAY AND EX PRES. ARROYO

(APRIL 05, 2012)LATE POST

I know my subject for my blog today is crucial and i might end up in jail or whatsoever but i would like to share with you my experience during Holy Thursday Mass. We were just in time for the mass ...when the crowd in the chapel sounded like a bee,buzzing "nandyan na si Gloria".

I thought ill be just fine having her at my back. IT WAS SO RESTLESS. I was not comfortable and worried bout my daughter that she might have tantrums and Gloria might get mad because of the noise.

And the mass begun, and i was right. Ekai got to her temper and been irritated. Luckily , my hubby was there to carry my daughter.

Ekai loves to stand up on our sit and look back. I'm like "beb,baka magbato si ekai ng doll nya"..."beb move forward naka kneeldown siya(MR. ARROYO). Ekai was yelling because of boredom and wanted to go and forth.

The good part there was, she so charming and smiling to Gloria and to her granddaughter. She just wanted to get everybody's attention :)



Sigh. It was so difficult yet ME AND MY HUSBAND SURVIVED. :))

I just wanted to laugh out of my weirdness being mom. And its not easy to discipline your child. But it was a good experience for me. 

LESSON LEARNED.




WASHING OF THE FEET (the priest kissed my father's foot)

*i dont have photos of HER,because it's not allowed by the police escorts*

Changing Diaper

As a first time mom, CHANGING DIAPER was really a heavy job for me at first. All my "yucks" and "eews" disappeared. I don't know how i learn to do that but i think that's a...

MOM INSTINCT.

I was super duper "maarte" before. I'll shout to death with my "kadiri" moments and sounding like a serene. My parents would say that i must go with that feeling because im growing up. It doesn't sound and look good at all actually.

Ive first learned to be decent and quiet with my husband. He hates MAARTE and until now, im trying not to be. It's part of growing when you let go of your self and try to change something that will help you improve your self-being. But still there are times when we fight because of my tantrums. Im just so lucky to have an understanding husband :)

I blog this because of my observation this past few days.

My mom is no longer that strong to take care of ekai...i always saw her helpless when "ekai" (my daughter) cries. I know she really try her best to be a lola. For me, BEING  a lola (or MAMU ) its not always AN ACT. For me, her presence is more important than anythingelse.


(wala pa ako sa kalingkingan ng experience ng mama ko sa akin, kaya im so thankful nandyan padin sya para alagaan si Ekai ♥)

Being a responsible mommy, i always see to it that people would see me as perfect as i can be. im trying my really best to be a COOL AND SENSITIVE MOM to Ekai.

I know im weak at times and i dont give much time to ekai when we are at home most esp when my depression strikes. its not because i dont love her, but i just dont want her to see and feel that im not ok. 
Trials are coming all and im so glad that i have my papa and mama...

(@ Shakeys, "Anak , kailangan bang nakataas pa paa mo while eating?! bad manners Ate Ekai :P")

....who are so supportive to me. Even if i have already my own decisions in life theyre still there to guide me throughout.

For me, CHANGING DIAPERS are like "embracing your child with love and security". Assurance that no matter what as long as your there, THEY'RE SAFE. and As a parent , you're responsible for keeping them feel fresh and clean.

I remember when ekai got rashes because i always forgot to check if she's wet already. I really feel bad when i see her cry because of that itchiness and swollen skin of her. Ive learned my lesson now. 

.....and My learning's will not stop being  A MOM ♥