Changing Diaper

As a first time mom, CHANGING DIAPER was really a heavy job for me at first. All my "yucks" and "eews" disappeared. I don't know how i learn to do that but i think that's a...

MOM INSTINCT.

I was super duper "maarte" before. I'll shout to death with my "kadiri" moments and sounding like a serene. My parents would say that i must go with that feeling because im growing up. It doesn't sound and look good at all actually.

Ive first learned to be decent and quiet with my husband. He hates MAARTE and until now, im trying not to be. It's part of growing when you let go of your self and try to change something that will help you improve your self-being. But still there are times when we fight because of my tantrums. Im just so lucky to have an understanding husband :)

I blog this because of my observation this past few days.

My mom is no longer that strong to take care of ekai...i always saw her helpless when "ekai" (my daughter) cries. I know she really try her best to be a lola. For me, BEING  a lola (or MAMU ) its not always AN ACT. For me, her presence is more important than anythingelse.


(wala pa ako sa kalingkingan ng experience ng mama ko sa akin, kaya im so thankful nandyan padin sya para alagaan si Ekai ♥)

Being a responsible mommy, i always see to it that people would see me as perfect as i can be. im trying my really best to be a COOL AND SENSITIVE MOM to Ekai.

I know im weak at times and i dont give much time to ekai when we are at home most esp when my depression strikes. its not because i dont love her, but i just dont want her to see and feel that im not ok. 
Trials are coming all and im so glad that i have my papa and mama...

(@ Shakeys, "Anak , kailangan bang nakataas pa paa mo while eating?! bad manners Ate Ekai :P")

....who are so supportive to me. Even if i have already my own decisions in life theyre still there to guide me throughout.

For me, CHANGING DIAPERS are like "embracing your child with love and security". Assurance that no matter what as long as your there, THEY'RE SAFE. and As a parent , you're responsible for keeping them feel fresh and clean.

I remember when ekai got rashes because i always forgot to check if she's wet already. I really feel bad when i see her cry because of that itchiness and swollen skin of her. Ive learned my lesson now. 

.....and My learning's will not stop being  A MOM ♥